P.S. I Love Me More
Are you still struggling with this notion of not giving up? Your feet feel cemented to that dead relationship. The vice grips are tight, and only the jaws of life can release you from this person's hold on your life, body, and soul. The happily ever after fairytale has been replaced with until dread does us apart. Seriously?!
I know you’re mentally tallying all your time invested in this relationship that hasn’t progressed from year one. You’ve stayed in this marriage even though it doesn’t serve you. In fact, you’ve done all the bending over backward to ensure your man’s happiness and well-being. You’re the supportive woman, daily ensuring all his needs are met while tapping into his five love languages. No matter the obstacle, you’re that ride-or-die girl that will have his back until the end. I get it; you’re in love. When you’re in that committed union, you have tunnel vision. But what has he done for you lately?
Women are amazing. We put ourselves through unnecessary drama and turmoil to have the right to say we have a man. We hold on to these situations while suffering silently. Have you played through every possible scenario to walk away from him, but those heartstrings keep tugging you back? Sound about right? You no longer recognize the reflection in the mirror. It’s time to stop holding on to the shouldas, couldas, and wouldas and pay attention to what’s in front of you.
Learning to let go is the hardest thing to do. Here’s my brief story.
I was unhappy before I said, ‘I do.’ He never put my wants before his. Always compromising and giving in to whatever suited him. He never took the time to get to know me. Instead, I allowed him to sculpt and mold me into the woman he wanted, i.e., cook, clean, go half on bills, and have occasional sex. Leading up to the day of the ceremony, I thought the feelings I was having were cold feet. On the day of the wedding, my heart was heavy, dread was the Maid of Honor, and sadness walked me down the aisle. Apprehension had me anchored to this man. Yet, I married him anyway. Fast forward many miserable years, two children, and self-esteem at its lowest, I decided to end the marriage.
The best part of life is the innate ability to balance what you have against your capability of what you no longer want. For many of us, we yield the power we possess to others.
Here are five indications that it’s time to pack & go
You, cry more than you laugh.
You’ve begged, pleaded, and hoped for the person to change. Yet, he’s unwilling.
You’re emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted.
You feel unheard, alone, and disrespected.
Fear that this is the best it will get.