Help! I can’t stand my mother.
“A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend.”
We've all experienced relationships that didn't withstand the test of time. Yet, the pain cuts deeper when that relationship is with the woman you once called your mother. Ideally, the bond we share with our mothers shapes us into the women we are today. However, it becomes especially challenging when that connection is full of pain and hurt feelings, leaving lingering wounds that have yet to heal.
To become the women we aspire to be, we must consciously choose the path of genuine and profound healing. Moving forward necessitates embracing forgiveness and cultivating inner peace. It's about acknowledging the scars, understanding their impact, and choosing a journey toward resilience and self-discovery.
Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all to healing, but here's where I want you to start.
5 steps to start the healing process❤️🩹
You gotta start at the beginning. Although you may have more questions than you do answers, begin by reflecting on your experiences and allowing yourself to acknowledge the pain.
"It’s not what you said, but how it makes me feel." Identify and set healthy boundaries in your current relationship with your mother. Creating clear and respectful boundaries can be a crucial step in protecting your well-being and fostering a more balanced connection. (She may not like this, but remember it's all about you).
Forgiveness does not let her off the hook but what it does is become a powerful tool for your healing. This doesn't necessarily mean condoning past actions, but rather, it's a choice to release the hold of resentment for your peace of mind. Forgiveness is a process, and it often begins with the intention to let go.
Remove the title of ‘mother.’ Huh? Yes that’s what I said and meant. With titles, comes an expectation and responsibility. By removing titles, you’re able to finally see your mother as a human being, erasing the weight of that predefined role. This will help you recognize that your mother may be dealing with her own traumatic experiences thus allowing you to show empathy.
Consider coaching or counseling to navigate the complexities of your emotions. A trained professional can provide guidance, tools, and a safe space to explore and heal from the wounds of the past.
Remember, healing is a personal journey, and progress may come in stages. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small victories, and allow the healing process to unfold organically. You have the strength within you to overcome the pain and emerge resilient.